The mind, a garden, a flowerbed
Filled with vibrant greens
Deep browns,
Life,
To water, the garden takes time, energy, strength
The insects and critters roam
The butterflies and bees fly from flower to flower until they require rest
The foxes and mice roam
The breeze in an ear whispers a lullaby
The next day we must begin again
The butterflies awake and begin their journey about the garden
They know today will be like the last and the same as tomorrow
And yet
They arise with passion
Purpose and vigor
Knowing without them the garden would lose its rhythm
The bees fly with such speed that at the end of the day all they can do is lay
They return to their Queen
She kisses their forehead and they know they are home
The foxes and mice tire from their sport
They return to their hollows and their pups and beds
The night is quiet the garden is peaceful
And then, we awake.
I really enjoyed writing this poem as a response to Cavendishs’ original piece. I wanted to focus however less on the blatant positivity and more on the actual time and energy it takes to be a person. Waking up and getting stuff done can be really hard especially for those who struggle with mental or chronic illness, something I can relate to on both aspects. I also really wanted to keep the influence of nature and especially birds and bees, but also add a bit to it which is why I mention foxes and mice (two critters I love a lot!) I specifically chose these animals though because they are hard-working, foxes though usually assumed to be cunning are sweet and playful, and wise. And Mice are protective of their own and also playful and ambitious. I chose to use the analogy of the Queen Bee kissing the other bees on their forehead to show the peace of mind we all deserve to feel as we fall asleep or go into a restful headspace. I wanted to display the hard work that these animals put in to show the care we must put into ourselves. At the end of the day, we must all take care of ourselves and how difficult that “simple” task can be. All in all this project was super fun!
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Clearly, I love this poem as I made you send it to me so I can print it out and put it on my wall! I love how you matched your descriptive language to Cavendish as well as continued her themes within your own work. Your originality shines through!
This is a great poem! I really enjoy reading these responses regarding learning and education. Overall, I would say that education, at the very least, needs an overhaul. As you noted in your piece, self-care and rest often gets overlooked in modern society, and studies have shown that rest and happiness and health are pivotal in long-term learning and in developing skills to be successful in the future. I really liked that you highlighted those areas of importance. Your poem emphasizes the role of education, highlighting how school can shape a person, not just test scores and academic results. This is a really interesting post!!
I like that you didn’t directly say anything bad about education and yet, you showed the reader the sense of endless monotony and stillness that is sometimes created. The repetition made this feel uniquely you while the word choice calls back to Cavendish. Great work.
I love this !! Such a creative response to Cavendish! I love, “They know today will be like the last and the same as tomorrow, And yet, They arise with passion” because honestly that’s all you can do. Great work!
I’m so glad I read this. In the midst of finals week and struggling with my own mental state and burnout in general, I related to how hard it can be to wake up and do what I need to do every day. The lines “The bees fly with such speed that at the end of the day all they can do is lay / They return to their Queen / She kisses their forehead and they know they are home” are beautiful and made me a tad bit emotional if I’m being honest. Amazing job.
Self care is something that a lot of people forget. Negativity runs a lot of peoples mindsets and what this poem you’ve made shows to me that you need to find your own space where you can grow and stay positive; shut out the negativity. We all know it’s easier said than done, but finding that space opens life up. Beautiful and unique poem. It sends a very peaceful and powerful message. This has spoke to me as someone who also battles with mental illness and it lifts me up. Thank you for this.
This poem is really good, I like that you mention how getting up to get stuff done can be hard, which is something very relatable to me. The original poem was almost too happy, but yours add the reality to the situation that the next day might be the same but they still rise and go on with the day. I like the mention of foxes and mice tiring from their sport because it kind of reminds me of Tom and Jerry (even though he is a cat), but it just feels like a fox chasing a mouse until it’s time to stop for the night to close and then start again the next day.
I love how in your post you took the time to mention how one’s own mental health is so important. as humans and young adults, we have so much to deal with daily. sometimes we forget to hit the breaks and give ourselves the second we need to relax. I like how you compare the animal’s hard work to how hard we as humans should care about ourselves. it’s true at the end of the days we have to choose ourselves.